Writer：시나브로
(Original written in Korean)
I am a confirmed case of COVID-19.
I'm separated in a negative pressure isolation room at Gyeonggi Provincial Medical Center. I'm a mother of two children, a 6-year-old and a baby less than 100 days old.
I had been keeping up with the number of COVID-19 cases through news and eventually became one of the thousands of confirmed COVID-19 cases in Korea. My family got separated and I was put in isolation. In this time of fear and terror, no information of the cases was released, in turn multiplying the fear. I'm going to share my experience amid the epidemic where anyone can test positive for the virus (while I sincerely hope no more cases break out).
I contracted it from my husband. He had extreme muscle aches and fever-like symptoms for two days, which later turned out to be from COVID-19. He had caught it from a colleague. A morning phone call notifying me of his test result woke me right up from my sleep.
Unlike my imagination of inspection crew fully dressed in fumigation outfits barging in and causing a scene, my husband walked out of our place after ending the phone call and got into the ambulance waiting outside of the apartment building to take him to the isolation ward.
After my husband was taken to the ward, disinfection of the apartment complex began. Health administration officers in safety outfits visited. Because we were in contact with the confirmed case, my children and I had to get tested.
My 6-year-old was on guard from the strangers in goggles and unusual outfits. She gagged from the testing equipment poking up her nose and throat while tears and snots came out. When my baby had to be held still to get tested, my heart shattered into pieces.
Our entire place was sprayed down with disinfectants. The health administration officers mentioned that it will give pinching sensations on the face for a bit so we opened all the windows for 6 hours to let the fresh air in. The house was a mess from every corner being sprayed down and my children could only stay in the master bedroom.
The neighbourhood had a sharp, distrusting feel to it once people heard a confirmed case had been seen here. Watching my children cornered into a single room and unable to move elsewhere freely, I told myself to stay strong. I told myself the next two weeks with my children in my husband's absence will be a fight we'll win. Soon after, I fell asleep.
At around 1:30am, in less than an hour of me falling asleep, I got a call from the health administration office. I could hear the urgency in their voice. I had tested positive for COVID-19. They also quickly mentioned that both my children tested negative so I'll have to isolate myself instantly.
My mind went blank. I distanced myself from my children immediately, my hands trembling. I had no symptoms - no fever, no difficulty breathing, nothing. I felt dizzy from worrying about how my baby who was being breastfed and my 6-year-old daughter will manage without me.
My mother came to pick up my children. We woke them up and explained to them that I had contracted COVID-19. My mother promptly packed baby formula, diapers and some clothes, then left. At around 3 in the morning, I was transported in an ambulance to Gyeonggi Provincial Medical Center. Our entire place and the neighbourhood once again went through the disinfection process.
I was someone who had never been in an ambulance before, I had always been healthy. The only times I was checked into hospitals were to give births to my children. But then here I was, separated in a negative pressure isolation ward. It didn't feel real.
I changed into a hospital gown. At 4am, I explained my paths to an epidemiologist on the phone. I was mostly home to take care of my baby so explaining my past traces was simple. I'm not at all related to Shincheonji. I spent most of my time at home and wore a mask when going outside so I wasn't in contact with anyone other than my family.
I couldn't fall asleep. Tears rolled down my face as I kept thinking about my children. Thinking about my baby who was dependant on breastfeeding and my daughter who always looks for me to tuck her in, I couldn't get a single wink of sleep.
I despised myself. I thought about the times when I was in close contact with my children, completely disregarding the possibility that I might be a COVID-19 patient. Hugging my baby after feeding, lying down face-to-face and chatting before bed, and kissing them. Preparing their food while breathing into it, saying words of love. These could've all been possible causes of infecting my children.
The entire day felt like a nightmare. The day felt unimaginably long too. The fear I felt was more from me possibly infecting others and being isolated from my family than the virus itself. As time went by, I was able to find my calm and a strong feeling of gratitude swooped in:
-I'm grateful that my children and my mother tested negative.
-I'm grateful that I showed no symptoms even after contracting it and that my children tested negative even after being in close contact with me and my husband.
-I'm grateful that my mother was able to take care of my children.
-I'm grateful that an isolation room at the hospital was available for me.
-I'm grateful for the efforts of health administration officers, day and night, to contain the virus to the best of their ability.
-I'm grateful for the medical professionals including the doctors, nurses, facility carers, nutritionists, for taking great care of me.
-I'm grateful for my friends for wanting to send me health supplements and books to the hospital (Receiving parcels at the hospital is not allowed, so I had to turn their kind offers down).
-I'm grateful for the mothers of my daughter's kindergarten classmates for leaving warm messages of support.
-I'm grateful for all the comments left on online platforms, understanding my disheartenment of being away from my children and wishing for my fast recovery.
-I'm grateful for the realization of the importance of family and a peaceful everyday life.
The number of COVID-19 cases are increasing by denominations of hundreds on a daily basis in Korea. The COVID-19 that I experienced didn't feel like anything more than just a severe cold. Unless a complicated medical history is involved, it goes by like a cold. It might even go by with zero symptoms just as it did for me. Some might not even know they contracted it unless they get tested.
Currently, there's no cure for COVID-19. The immune system cures it over time. It's extremely contagious so an isolation is required, but soon it will disappear from our society as well as my body.
COVID-19 will perish but the warm words of support I received will remain forever in my memory. I now look to senior citizens and neighbours with underlying diseases and try to understand how uneasy they must be feeling. I try to understand how difficult it must be for the medical professionals and relief workers down in Daegu, sleepless and continuously helping COVID-19 patients.
I'm going to stay strong for them. I think about how I'm going to spread the love I received once I've recovered and gone back to normal. I really hope for no more infections, for all to go back to normal by recovering their immune systems, for the medical staff to keep pushing, for small businesses to pick up.
"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change." These are the words of Charles Darwin.
We're going to survive from COVID-19. Other 7,000 confirmed cases, moms who struggle to take care of their children who can't go back to school yet and small business owners who are facing financial difficulties, we're all going to win the battle against COVID-19.
Fighting Daegu, Gyeongbuk! Fighting Korea!
*All proceeds from the above content will go towards helping COVID-19 patients in Korea.
